What works for me may not work for you. That does not make anyone a bad person. Within limits that is. I find myself being judgmental about other moms and their parenting techniques. For instance the sight of chocolate milk in a bottle makes me cringe. I can't really explain why, well I can. A bottle is for a baby who can't eat solids, it's a way to provide nutrients and fill babies tummy. After they chew in our house we ditch the bottle and move on to a cup. Maybe this is because my girls threw the bottle at 9 months and refused to drink from it! Whoo hoo. Maybe my intolerance for the bottle is my subconscious way of bragging. Ha. The bottle went so easy in our house, as others struggle with broken hearted little ones when taking the bottle away.
TV, I couldn't survive without it in the toddler years. It helped me shower. Being a stay at home mom, to twins no less is difficult at times. To shower during nap time, do dishes or laundry? Then there is giving up morning naps... So I can't shower until the afternoon???? The shower in our apartment was upstairs. The girls were one when they gave up AM naps so there was no dragging two bouncy seats up the stairs or letting them roam around our tiny bathroom while I grabbed a quick shower. Maybe it's selfish but I wanted a shower everyday. A shower I could condition my hair and shave, brush my teeth and take in the peace and quiet. Ahhhh. I even tried placing the girls in their cribs while I showered but I came out to them screaming to many times. This was around the time we discovered the Sesame Street sing along video from the 90's :) the girls watched and danced buckled into their high chairs everyday for 20 minutes while I showered. It was worked for me, for my family and our situation. Who is to judge another mom? Now that the girls are seven they don't watch TV on a daily basis at home. Maybe once a week but its more like a couple times a month. They are hard to pull away from a program and its a waste of their youth. I don't judge people who let their kids watch TV and as the girls grow I am sure we will go back to adding it into their routine but right now it does not easily fit in. The girls always try to fit In outside time and reading almost every night. Proud Momma.
Several times during my kids youth , actually more like everyday I question myself as a mom. I love my kids more then words can say. They come first over anything else in this world. I can say that I am a good mom, I love them, teach them, listen, cuddle and encourage them.
Tonight we took on the daunting task of cleaning their room. I HATE THIS TASK. One, there is not enough room and two they are pack rats. We cleaned to my standard and then I wondered if I was too hard on them. They are only kids. I don't sugar coat their lives with making every situation easy fir them, i cant imagine tossing them out in the real world after doing this. Another pet peeve is treating your seven year olds like babies. I am not saying this isn't right it just annoys me. I looked down at a massive pile of work from school and fanned through the work and found all 100's check pluses and A's :) We had spent the afternoon driving to a consignment shop that had 11 Junie B Jones books :) I asked them to hold them for me. We drove there right after school. I bought two over the weekend and wasn't sure how the girls would like them. They LOVED them. Ry had all besides one chapter read In her boom by the end of Monday. Hence the urgency to drive out to get them. When we got home the girls read for 40 minutes, played then had supper. After supper is when things went downhill and we cleaned the room. After we cleaned the girls were tired and bummed the afternoon was over so I offered to let them stay up and read for a half hour in their beds. They were so excited. This was at the same time I found the pile of school work. I realized my parenting has changed. What worked once may not work now. We are all different and parents take different approaches to situations. I am happy with mine. I have two striving beautiful thoughtful and so smart girls to be proud of.
I watched a horrible video earlier this week that a landlord recorded doing an inspection on the house he rented out to a family here in Maine not far away. It was awful, words can't describe. Not just filthy but holes through the walls, flies no running water, broke everything. No toys, stagnant water in the sinks and bathtubs. There was no food, minus the can of spaghetti in the corner of one of the children's room. It was any parents worse nightmare. DHHS and child protective services were called but for some horrific reason the kids are still there :( I hope and pray that something will happen and they will get the home they deserve.
It makes you stop and think about what you have. My kids have no idea what other children are forced to live with. I shelter them but try my hardest to make sure they truly appreciate all that they have.
Parenting is not easy but this is what I have learned. Don't beat yourself up, love them, encourage them, let them see you try hard in life. Be proud of your kids, don't judge others, help others and encourage your children to do the same. Guide them to be productive members of society, get on their level, be involved, see the world through their eyes, have patience, let them fall and fail. Don't shelter them too much, punish them if needed, teach them respect, teach them responsibility, but most of all cuddle them everyday and shower them with love. That's what I do because I put my whole life into being their mom through the good times and bad <3 DLR RDR
Our score :)
Just the girls and I went out to breakfast the other day <3
They love to read.
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